I've been thinking recently (yeah. i do that sometimes). Why am I in law school? Is law school what God wanted? Those questions, along with derivatives of those questions float in my head all the time. Do I even WANT to be a lawyer? Or, being that I'm going to a law firm this summer--do I WANT to be a "bigfirm" lawyer? In any case, that's really what's going on in my brain.
A lot of these thoughts have been floating in my head since getting involved with my church's college group. We are trying to launch a college ministry here in Iowa City, and I've just been thinking about my own life direction. I remember back when I was doing fulltime ministry, and I felt that I was overjoyed and flowing with the Spirit. I've not felt so full of the Spirit since that time, with only a few exceptions. I felt that I was truly basking in the will and grace of God. So, I think to myself...maybe that's the life God is calling me to. I was once told that one shouldn't become a full-time missionary unless they don't see themselves doing anything else. I'm not saying I want to work with college students, I'm just saying, I don't know if I can do anything else except be a missionary--as a vocation, as a calling, as a career, as a life. So my thought process follows...but, God, I don't want to waste this law degree! How much faith do I have? How much faith do I have, to turn down a six-figure salary, move to where I feel like I'm at home (Austin, TX), and work for God full-time? Will I listen to God?