To Hell and Back

Sometimes I wonder what hell is probably like...yesterday, through a dream, I think I found. Hell didn't seem to be a place where things are burning with the proverbial lake of fire. No, it's not quite that blatant in its torment. But rather, in my dream, hell's torment was far, far more subtle than that.

People are innately social creatures, and accordingly, we are in need of various human interactions. Without others, I believe people become empty and our lives become meaningless. Well, in the dream, hell was exactly that--a meaningless, empty eternal existence. My version of hell: it's a "place," like any other. There are other people--except they don't see you. You see them, but they don't see you. They don't know you exist. They don't love you. You can't love them. You can't talk to them. You can't hold them, hug them, tell them about your day. Even your closest friends you will see--but you will not be able to interact. You cannot comfort them, you cannot cry with them, and you cannot love them.

To me, that is hell--away from all that God has created. All the love, people, and community God has created for us to live under. Then, I got to thinking...this "hell" that God painted for me last night in my dream, exists here on earth. Some here, especially in the states, don't interact with people. They spend their entire lives working...creating their own version of hell. Why do we do that? It also got me thinking about how important it is to share the love of God. A person's existence on Earth is their one chance to experience the love of God, or they are otherwise banished to an existence in "hell." So, I thought--some people work their whole lives in a self-created hell, rejecting God...and then they go off to eternal hell? That sucks. And, on the flip side...if we think about it, if we have God here, we experience God here. We experience love...almost a heaven on Earth thing. Then we get to go to eternal heaven? That's a heck of a deal. I want to love people the way Christ loved people, and tell them about Christ. So then, they can live life now, love now, experience joy now...and then do it million-fold throughout eternity.

God connection...

I wonder what "connecting with God" actually means. What is it about? Is it about some warm fuzzy feeling one gets when the weather is beautiful? Or, is it the feeling I get when I'm out on the twisty roads on my Harley? Or is it the feeling I get when I'm listening to worship music? I'm starting to think it really isn't about warm fuzzy feelings...but really about a moment. The moment when I know I am in God's will, and not just self-concocted feel-good moment.

The question is, though, how can I tell the difference between the "moment" created by God and one of my own created moments? I think, for now, i've decided it's as simple as knowing that at that God-moment, I have nothing in my mind except worship. Not a "wow, this is awesome" moment...I think, when we are really connected with God, we don't have anything in our mind except that. We don't even have a moment to think about our own selves and how we are feeling. Rather, we only focus on our connection with God. This is something I ponder right now...

"Moral" Issues

It's raining and thunderstorming hard today, during the rainy day, I was watching an "Inconvenient Truth." It's really compelling, and while I'm already a believer in global climate change...but it seems as if the problem is bigger. I watch this, while knowing that certain politicians and friends don't actually think this is a real problem. Or worse yet, some people think this is a complete hoax.

How can this be? How does data lie like that? How many theories do we know are nearly 100% supported by the experts? Wow...and I hate the fact certain politicians are attacking Al Gore...when that's not relevant. The "who" conveying the message is not important here as the message itself: we are destroying our world. Another thing I think of are the Christian evangelical leaders...or some of them who think the focus on global climate change is "taking away" from the moral issues of our day. What? How is saving the planet not a moral issue? Didn't God create the world? God said "fill the earth and 'subdue' it." He didn't say DESTROY it. Worse yet...homosexuality, abstinence, abortion--all those are worthy issues. But are any of them worth fighting if we have 1-200 million refugees?

This leads me to my primary thought..."relevance." We wonder why people in American aren't turning to God in massive numbers. I always wonder why my friends fall in love with my Lord in large numbers. It's not because God is becoming irrelevant, but rather we are becoming irrelevant. Our message is not focused on God, nor on God's message. Sure, God talks a little about homosexuality and sex...but God talks about poverty a whole lot more. There are issues important today, poverty and the environment, that God talks a whole lot about, yet we don't talk about it! Why? Why?

Why is it that Christians focus on issues that divisive? Fine, I guess that’s OK, considering the gospel is often divisive. But guess what, we should only be divisive when it comes to claiming that Jesus is God and Savior. Not when it comes to abortion or gay marriage. Why can’t we present a message of the gospel that says, “God cares about you, the earth, poor people, rich people, all people...” I guess, what I’m trying to say is that God cares about the environment and we should to. And lets not pillory Al Gore, the messenger, just because we don’t like him. We are destroying Earth. Let’s stop.

Some midweek thoughts

I've been thinking recently (yeah. i do that sometimes). Why am I in law school? Is law school what God wanted? Those questions, along with derivatives of those questions float in my head all the time. Do I even WANT to be a lawyer? Or, being that I'm going to a law firm this summer--do I WANT to be a "bigfirm" lawyer? In any case, that's really what's going on in my brain.

A lot of these thoughts have been floating in my head since getting involved with my church's college group. We are trying to launch a college ministry here in Iowa City, and I've just been thinking about my own life direction. I remember back when I was doing fulltime ministry, and I felt that I was overjoyed and flowing with the Spirit. I've not felt so full of the Spirit since that time, with only a few exceptions. I felt that I was truly basking in the will and grace of God. So, I think to myself...maybe that's the life God is calling me to. I was once told that one shouldn't become a full-time missionary unless they don't see themselves doing anything else. I'm not saying I want to work with college students, I'm just saying, I don't know if I can do anything else except be a missionary--as a vocation, as a calling, as a career, as a life. So my thought process follows...but, God, I don't want to waste this law degree! How much faith do I have? How much faith do I have, to turn down a six-figure salary, move to where I feel like I'm at home (Austin, TX), and work for God full-time? Will I listen to God?

I've caught this bug--a bug to go see places in the country. I really want to go take a trip somewhere, but I don't know where. I'm just ready to feel free. I feel that law school has begun to suffocate who I am as a person. It already has made me into a person I really don't like. I feel like I need to get away, and just be one with God somewhere.

Dreams

Recently, I've been thinking how as kids, we dream of big things. Even as college students, we dream, hope, pray for the world. We want to see the world change, during those years, we have the fire of the Holy Spirit burning within us, to take the gospel to all the ends of the earth. We are bold in talking to friends. Christ is relevant in our lives as soldiers for the Lord. Yet, now, as adults, sometimes we've forgotten that. Here's a poem--actually, lyrics from a song I wrote...

Dreams
Copyright 2007, by Kenn Fukuda

Oh, and why do we dream such small things?
Through our dreams our world can change.
Love, joy, and hope would reign supreme,
And our world would be a better place.

Our dreams are often but petty aims.
We are content with homes and a paycheck.
We are sated with simple fame.
And our big dreams are left as a wreck.

So let’s bring back our childish yearnings,
Turn them back into our wishing north stars.
The power of our dreams gives us wings.
And let’s fly, guided by our dream star.

Amazing

I always look at specific Christian warriors that I know and strive to be like them. Yes, I know, I've been told (usually by the people I respect and try to be like) that I should strive to be like Christ and not them, for they are so woefully sinful. Now, I'm pretty darned sure they sin--but I see them as so far ahead me on the sanctification journey that I think--if I'm like them, I'll be closer to God than I am now. So, today I heard the story of the single most humble woman I know. I've only met her one time, but today at church we spoke about her during her prayer requests. She is a doctor from Africa, and in Iowa for additional academic work. 

However, this was a woman who was so 
humble that she was willing to clean people's 
houses to pay the bills.  She was willing 
to hike 30 blocks in a blizzard to get to work. 
She became a Christian in a 
culture where turning to Christ 
is cause for being disowned by 
her family. 
And all she wants to say is 
"Give God Glory." Indeed--this woman is a true faithwalker, 
and she is one I strive to be more like. 

Chopsticks and Racism

Why are some people idiots? I've been stewing/dwelling on this for a few weeks, but apparently I feel the need to right about it. I'm irritated that a couple of weeks ago a fellow law student thought it was "funny" to put a bunch of chopsticks in my mailbox. I don't get it--why are people so idiotic?

God and the Gridiron Gang

I just finished watching the movie Gridiron Gang. Yes, I know it's a cheesy flick with my favorite wrestler--but the movie got me to thinking: who are these kids that are forgotten by our society? Who are these kids that slip through the cracks? Why is it that there is such a recivitism rate for our adolescent offenders? For a lot of these gang kids, jail is a place where they cycle through--only to end up back on the streets. Why? Is there a place for them? Where are the people that are to help them? Why is it that nobody helps these kids, and only every now and then does someone come along to help them? An entire generation seems to be lost.

Ultimately, my question is--where is JESUS in all of this? How does a loving God create/allow for a society which forgets its children? Where are the churches/body of Christ which is in place to prevent this from happening? I guess, it's not that God's missing--it's that His people are too busy waging moral wars in Washington.

Freedom

There's something about riding through the countryside, on a motorcycle maneuvering through the curves and hills. There's a sense of freedom--breathing in (for the most part) unadulterated air. Riding lends an ability for me to clear my head, to truly be in touch with the Lord. Law school can suffocate me, for the work and the stress sometimes gets the better of me. I forget about the Lord's provision, grace, and Love a lot--especially under the weight of papers, outlining, and exams. Taking two hours out of my day over spring break to clear my head, be in touch with God, and just listening and experiencing His love yesterday was truly awesome.